• Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute now provides Marriage education services by phone through Skype as well as direct services at our home office.
• Check out our latest blog at:  www.divorcereform.info/index.php/Non-Legislative-Efforts-to-Reduce-Divorce/Promising-Solutions-to-the-Marriage-Crisis.html   — Make a comment
• Stay tuned for information about soon-to-be published book:  Heart and Soul Connection:  A Devotional Guide to Marriage, Service and Love.  Co-directors, Krsnanandini and Tariq helped to write this book with members of the North American Family Vision Team.A video is being prepared to give details and invite you to support this project which will be featured on kickstarter.com.  The kickstarter.com website promotes interesting projects and raises funds for them.  We will keep you posted.
• Relationship Tip:  Try a different approach when you and your loved ones have a disagreement.  Be quiet.  Then, suggest “let’s talk about this tomorrow” and then really set a time when you will continue the conversation.  It’s interesting what time and calming down will do.
• Finally, if you have a relationship question, email us at info@dzfi.org.  We’ll respond.  We pray this year is the best yet for you and your family.

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With the theme “Reawakening Marriage”, this event is free and open to the public, made possible through the community collaborative efforts of the Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute, Mt. Sinai Ministries, Wedded Bliss Foundation Inc., and the Alliance of Black Families.

Couples will have an opportunity to Renew their Wedding Vows here, joining hundreds of other couples renewing their vows throughout the United States. Prior to vow renewals, couples and singles can attend a life changing marriage and healthy relationship workshop. One exemplary couple will be inducted to the Cleveland Marriage Hall of Fame, selected by an interfaith committee of ministers.

Couples must register to renew their marriage vows. The registration fee is $25 per couple, which includes the dinner after the ceremony.

You may register online at www.blackmarriagedaycleveland.com, or call Sheronda Hunter, community liaison for the Family Institute, at 440-940-6531. Mrs. Hunter and her husband, Greg, serve as Co-Leaders of Tween Ministries at New Community Bible Fellowship.  Sheronda has also Co-lead Women and Teens as Co-President of Heights High Parent Connection Council. “This Black Marriage Day is exciting.  Participating couples will go home with a whole bag of goodies for their marriage.  Yet, this is an occasion for the entire family.” explained Sheronda.

A powerful Keynote address will be presented by Dr. Courtney & Mr. James Parks, husband-wife team from Pennsylvania, Their presentation was so empowering at our last Black Marriage Day, couples requested they come back again.  The event will conclude with a reception and a delicious feast.

This is only the second time this event has taken place in Cleveland.  The collaboration will join activists in hundreds of cities around the country to highlight the benefits of married life and offer celebrations to strengthen and promote marriage in greater Cleveland’s Black community.

“Our first celebration in Cleveland attracted over 250 guests and 40 couples who renewed their vows.” From such enthusiastic response and the tremendous need to reaffirm the importance of marriage, we anticipate even greater participation this year,” stated Ms. Hunter.  “We invite couples to register to renew their vows on our website at www.blackmarriagedaycleveland.com,  and encourage churches, individuals, and community groups to nominate an exemplary couple for induction into the Black Marriage Day Hall of Fame,” Ms. Hunter said. 

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While in Columbus, the two Co-directors, Tariq and Krsnanandini had two sessions with couples where we provided marriage education.  One couple is receiving premarital classes and the other couple has been married for about seven years.  Our work with these two couples underscores the urgent need for marriage education.  How tired are you of seeing or hearing about marriage break-ups?  How disappointed and hurt are the thousands of children who see their parents fight and divorce?  What about the millions of children who are growing up in single parent homes without the benefit of a very important and necessary parent  (the absent one)?

Somewhere, somebody has to feel a responsibility to do something. And, thank God, a new consciousness is gradually emerging in our world.  That we’d better take another look at the benefits of marriage.  That some of the spiritual principles we as a community have been negligent about, are probably much more important than we have acknowledged.  The Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute is an agency that has been in existence for well over a decade. Often, we felt that we were fighting an uphill battle, yet we are committed.  Sometimes, we receive cards, letters and gifts of gratitude:  “What can we possibly give you to repay you for how you have saved our marriage?”, one couple said.   “I wish I’d had your services in my first marriage,” a lady client told us recently.

It’s been said before and you will no doubt  hear it again:  “children are best raised in a two parent household with a healthy mother and father cooperating together.”  And, there are principles on which a healthy family must be based.   For example, truthfulness, cleanliness, compassion and self-discipline.  And, it takes a community to support a marriage.  And having a deep and abiding respect for all living things promotes an atmosphere of peace and security.

“What,” you may ask, “can I do?  I’m not married or I’m married but I don’t really have a marriage to sing about myself.”  First, become educated about marriage; take a workshop or a seminar about healthy relationship skills.  Read some of the current literature about marriage such as The Case for Marriage by Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher.  Give a  couple you know who is married or about to be married a gift certificate to take marriage enrichment or premarital education sessions.  Raise your boys to be good husbands and your daughters to be good wives.  This doesn’t mean they won’t do anything else like doctors, lawyers, firefighters, nurses, police officers, car mechanics or engineers.  But it does acknowledge the reality that most people will get married and most people want to get married.  What you do as a parent can ensure that when your children do marry, that they will have realistic expectations and be healthy contributors to their union as well as be able to honor their marriage commitment.

Teach boys how to clean the kitchen, how to cook, to put away their clothes and respect women.  Teach girls how to clean, cook, put away their clothes and respect themselves and others.  Teach your children to share, to have quiet time sometimes and to contribute some of their money to the household (either from gifts, allowances, or work).  Spend time teaching your children about financial matters—how to save, how to tithe, how to budget, how to write checks, what are interest rates, etc.  Show them how to talk to  and how to talk about the opposite sex by how you treat and talk about the opposite sex.  Eat dinner with your family at least once a day so that they will grow to value the time spent at the “kitchen table university”.  Mentor a child.

And pray.  Pray that somehow or other, we will have healthy family and community life.  And that we will realize what is most important in our lives before it’s too late.

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A 10-week comprehensive course for singles.  You put your time, energy and money in a lot of things.  Now invest your resources in your SELF!

Class Times: 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Thursdays: May 7, 14, 21, 28, June 4, 11, 18, 25, July 2, 9, 2009

Details:

• Learn how to avoid toxic or addictive relationships
• Learn to release old baggage that blocks your successful relationships
• Explore what makes you uniquely you and what gifts you bring to any relationship
• Create a vision for your future goals; Prepare yourself for healthy relationships!
• Learn and practice simple, yet highly effective Communication and Conflict Resolution skills and other Healthy Relationship Skills
• Identify your personal values and the values you should look for to form healthy relationships
• Evaluate what it means to be a woman and what men want women to know
• Evaluate what it means to be a man and what women want men to know

Instructors, Facilitators

Krsnanandini D. Dasi, BS, Education
Tariq S. Ziyad, BA, Psychology/Business Management
Co-Directors, Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute
+ Certified Family Life Educators (CFLE)
+ Certified Prepare/Enrich Administrators
+ Certified Prep & Better Together Relationship Instructors

Featured in the acclaimed book by Kathy Dawson, Relationship Coach
Cleveland Couples:  40 Inspiring Stories of Love and Commitment

Cost per participant

• $300 before April 20, 2009
• $350 after April 20, 2009

Includes student handbooks and all materials.

Payment

• Register with $50 deposit by April 20th below or call 216-321-0930.
• Some partial scholarships may be available.

Please fill out the registration form below. You will be receive a response email that will provide payment instructions.

If you have already registered, please scroll to the bottom of the page for payment options.

Registration

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Pay by Credit Card

Pay $50 Deposit by April 20th	Pay Registration Fee

Pay by Check

To pay by check, please send your payment to the address below. Your envelope should be postmarked by April 20th to receive the $300 rate.

Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute
3320 Beechwood Ave.
Cleveland, OH 44118-1833

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As many of you have experienced, relationships can make or break us.  A devastating romance, a broken or betrayed friendship, a depressed state of mind or low sense of self-worth, all can wreak havoc with our sense of well-being and our hope for better things to come. Relationships with spouses, friends, parents, children, neighbors, etc. can be a source of strength and encouragement or a cause of anxiety and pain.  There are skills that people can learn and commitments that they can make to have healthier, stronger relationships.  That’s what the Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute is all about.

With this newsletter, we introduce two new columns, Dear Relationship Coach, where Certified Family Life Educators (CFLEs) from the Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute staff , will respond to questions from readers about a variety of relationship, parenting and family topics.  Send your questions to info@dzfi.org.  The other column is What’s Happening at DZFI? where we keep you up to date about some of the current activities, projects and goals of Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute.

What’s Happening at DZFI ?

• Cleveland’s First Hispanic Marriage Day! A wonderful collaboration of the Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute, Hispanic UMADAOP, and Cuyahoga County’s Strong Start program, with support from the Spanish American Committee, is coordinating the first ever Hispanic Marriage Day in Cleveland, OH.  Five Hispanic Couples will be inaugurated into the Cleveland Hispanic Hall of Fame, many other couples will reaffirm their marriage commitment in a beautiful celebration including entertainment, food and a keynote address by Luis & Edith Vazquez.  This event, free and open to the public, will take place in a beautiful setting, the Saigon Plaza, 5400 Detroit Avenue, Cleveland, OH on Sunday October 12, 2008 from 3-6 p.m.   To make this a first class celebration, we are asking for help from well-wishers and supporters.   Please go to the DZFI home page and donate.  Press button Under Help Contribute,  specify for the Hispanic Marriage Day. (Some readers may remember that Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute coordinated the First Black Marriage Day in Cleveland in March, 2008).

• SELF (Singles Evaluating Life and Family) Healthy Relationship Course© will be offered in the Spring of 2009 in the  greater Cleveland, Ohio area.  Only a select group of individuals will be accepted for this in-depth, interactive and comprehensive training course.  This Self Healthy Relationship Course© will prepare unmarried individuals for healthy relationships.   For registration details, contact Ms. K. Dasi at 216-321-0930 or request registration information at contact@dzfi.org.

Dear Relationship Coach,

“My spouse had an affair which ripped at the core of the trust in our marriage and sent wave after wave of me questioning my own sense of self-worth.  He is repentant but this seems almost impossible to work through.  How do we get past this?  Is it even possible?” Sincerely.

Dear Sincerely,

Sadly, many, many marriages are victimized by the infidelity of one or both spouses.  What most people don’t realize is that several marriages do endure beyond affairs.  Extramarital affairs happen in so-called good marriages as well as those that are seriously conflicted.  Sometimes, couples emerge from the trauma of such betrayal and become stronger. Indeed, some become more loving. Obviously, there is a great need for the qualities we have spoken about in the past that are part and parcel of a healthy, principle-centered marriage:  forgiveness, self-discipline, repentance, truthfulness, compassion, self-examination and commitment.

Time is the great healer; with both you and your husband committed to working to rise to a higher level marriage, moving beyond this affair is not only possible, but probable.  Generally, getting help from caring, professional marriage educators to assist in the forgiving process and the gradual healing that this entails, is crucial.   Causes for adultery vary but don’t necessarily indicate a lack of love for the spouse.  People who commit adultery do so because of weakness, lack of an identifiable moral commitment and/or dissatisfaction with who are what they are.

Research  indicates that a little less than 50% of men and about a quarter of women have admitted to  extramarital affairs. The Beyond Affairs Network (http://www.beyondaffairs.com/BAN_support_groups.htm.) is an excellent resource to further deal with this trauma.

Dear Relationship Coach:

We have a large extended family and a big house.  Generally, our house is open to friends and family members.  Recently, we’ve had incidences of theft (money and clothes) and found that children of some of our friends had taken items out of our children’s bedrooms!  It was a blow and disappointment.  How do we deal with this matter? Disturbed

Dear Disturbed,

Use these incidences as teachable moments, where your immediate family learns and the children in the extended family learns.  Everything that happens to a conscious person should be a learning experience.  Relationships are dynamic, fluid and changing.   What ever you say or do should help your relationships change for the better.

• First, you should approach the adults (parents or caregivers of the children who have taken the items from your home).  If you are not sure who the offenders are, talk to the parents of all the children who had access to your home, inform them what was taken and ask them to kindly investigate to see if their children might be the culprit.
• Have a family meeting with your own children to discuss:   how your youngsters who are the victims are feeling, why taking things in someone else’s stewardship is not allowed, the spiritual, emotional and physical consequences of stealing, the importance of trust, etc.
• Then discuss things you can do to safeguard your home; perhaps it shouldn’t be so open. Perhaps someone should be aware at all times where guests and visitors are.
• Even though you are disturbed by these incidents, take the opportunity to grow and help others grow. It may be a good idea to have your child share with the child who betrayed your family’s trust; let the other child know just how his/her actions made your child feel.
• Finally, please share the outcome of your family’s “teachable moments” with us.

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Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute is involved in the following upcoming projects that build community and strengthen families:

Lord Have Mercy Festival 2008

A spiritual family festival bringing families and people together in love and unity for over 10 years.

* Free and open to the public.
* Welcoming people of all ages, cultures and religions.
* Performers from a variety of religious traditions celebrating the mercy of the Creator, unity and peace amongst all His creation.
* Spiritual entertainment for the whole family that includes a free healthy, delicious meal, arts and crafts for children, workshops, and chess tournaments for youth and adults.

Where: Forest Hill Park, East Cleveland, OH 44112
(Lee Rd entrance is north of Mayfield Rd and south of Euclid Ave. )

When: Saturday, August 16, 2008, 12:00 Noon – 8 PM

See website for more details: www.lordhavemercyfestival.com

SpiritWorks Documentary

Co-directors Tariq and Krsnanandini were selected to share some of their perspectives about spirituality in the workplace along with others in this thought provoking, poignant and healing documentary. See video clip on YouTube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yaq1ndv0fE

Cleveland’s First Ever Hispanic Marriage Day!

On Sunday, October 12, 2008, Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute is collaborating with Hispanic UMADAOP and the Cuyahoga Strong Start Program to present the first ever, greater Cleveland Celebration of Marriage and Family in the Latino/Hispanic community. Everyone is invited to come and see five Hispanic couples inducted into the Cleveland Hispanic Marriage Day Hall of Fame, enjoy family entertainment, delicious refreshments, see up to 50 couples reaffirming their marriage vows and hear a wonderful keynote address by Luis and Edith Vazquez about the importance of strong marriages and families in the Latino community. The audience will be informed about a variety of local community resources and services to build healthy relationships and strong families.

To nominate a couple for induction in the Hall of Fame or to register as a couple to reaffirm your marriage vows, send email at info@dzfi.org or call 216-321-0930. Nomination and registration forms as well as fliers, will also be available at

The Spanish American Committee,
4407 Lorain Avenue
Cleveland, OH 44113 and

Hispanic UMADAOP
3305 WEST 25TH ST
Cleveland, OH 44105

Location for this spectacular event will be announced.

Singles Workshop

If you are single, live in the greater Cleveland, Ohio, area and would like would like to be prepared for healthier relationships, send your name and email address to info@dzfi.org. We will contact you about our upcoming Singles Workshop, an interactive, comprehensive course that will cover all aspects of Healthy Relationships, including dealing with past baggage and misconceptions about marriage and family. Watch web site for dates and location.

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Wouldn’t it be grand if married couples everywhere could have enduring, satisfying relationships, based on spiritual principles? Wouldn’t it be marvelous if all children could grow up in a healthy two-parent home? Such was the goal of most of the attendees of the 12th Annual SmartMarriages conference from July 2-6, 2008 in San Francisco, California. This is the premier conference of its kind in the world. More than 2,000 people from all over the globe come to share, present, gain insight and get inspiration from marriage and family books, programs, dvds, and presentations. Marriage Educators, Therapists, ministers, teachers, youth project leaders, government officials, judges, couples and other lay persons converge in a wonderful, near week-long experience of marriage and family strengthening workshops, keynotes, exhibits, roundtables and networking.

Krsnanandini Devi Dasi and Tariq Saleem Ziyad, co-directors of the Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute traveled several hundred miles to attend this year’s SmartMarriages conference. The conference was held at the San Francisco Hilton, the largest and one of the most prestigious hotels in California.

At this year’s SmartMarriages conference, the Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute presented a workshop featuring an overview of their “From Couple to Couple” curriculum, which trains and certifies couples in healthy marriages to become Mentor Couple/Marriage Educators. These Mentor Couple Marriage Educators can then work with couples before and after marriage, modeling healthy relationship skills and teaching skills to their mentee couples. (To find out how you or a healthy couple you know can get this training, check the DZFI website at www.dzfi.org or click here )

We rubbed shoulders with notables like John Gray, author of the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series of books, Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the Five Love Languages and related works, Dr. Olson, co-founder of Life Innovations and the internationally acclaimed set of Prepare/Enrich premarital and marriage inventories, Dr. Scott Stanley, famed author of Fighting For Your Marriage and the Prep healthy marriage curriculum and Nisa Muhammad, Director of Wedded Bliss Foundation and creator of the National Black Marriage Day Initiative.

These and other dedicated Marriage and Family proponents spend much time and effort to strengthen marriages and families. They know the benefits; And they know all too well the consequences of the break down of family. As researchers Wood, Goesling and Avellar state in their report, The Effects of Marriage on Health: A Synthesis of Recent Research Evidence, “A burgeoning literature suggests that marriage may have a wide range of benefits, including improvements to individuals’ economic well-being, mental and physical health and the well-being of their children…A focus on the most rigorous recent evidence reveals that marriage has positive effects on certain health-related outcomes.”

Further, such research is validating what many marriage and family experts already know: Marriage Education programs work to “reduce strife, improve communication, increase parenting skills, increase, stability and enhance marital happiness.”

Some highlights from the 2008 SmartMarriages conference include:

From Dr. Chapman: “Many couples love each other but don’t know how to connect. Sacrificing for one’s spouse is important. When it (a service for your spouse) doesn’t come naturally, it’s actually a greater expression of love. We must learn to speak one another’s love language.”

From John Gray: “ Men talk to solve problems; Women talk to express feelings.”

From Dennis Stoica’s (Director California Healthy Marriage Initiative: “Marriage matters to children. Divorce is hard on kids and it is a serious national problem.”

From Michelle Weiner-Davis: “Real giving means giving what your spouse wants — no matter if you don’t understand it—it’s mutual caring.”

Dr. Sue Johnson: “Without empathy and secure connection, there can be no real love. All humans need nurturing, soothing and protection…… Key moment which defines forgiveness: when the injured party looks into the eyes of the offender and sees that their pains matters. They have to see it in their faces.”

Dr. Steven Stosny: “You can turn your resentful, angry or emotionally abusive relationship into a compassionate, loving one….. The urge to improve, appreciate, connect or protect are the motivations of our core values. The experience of value gives you meaning and purpose. Crime goes up when the sense of community goes down. People feel disconnected.”

Many of these thoughts are reminiscent of the teachings of an ancient Vedic wise man, Rupa Goswami. In his treatise on Devotional Service, Goswami delineates 6 Kinds of Loving Exchanges:

1. Giving gifts in charity
2. Accepting gifts with appreciation
3. Offering food prepared with love and devotion
4. Accepting such food with grace and care
5. Revealing one’s mind confidentially
6. Respecting and honoring such confidential sharing.

Over 125 such workshops were presented at the conference, covering a wide spectrum of marriage, family, fatherhood and healthy relationship topics. Next year’s 2009 SmartMarriages Conference will take place in Orlando, Florida.

Well, we promised that we’d report back to our faithful readers after returning from some of this summer’s marriage and family conferences where we attended and presented workshops and the above is our first installment. We welcome your questions and comments.

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Join experienced, certified Marriage/Family Educators in this Couples Retreat which promises a “real treat” for couples. Come to play, identify your couple and spiritual values, learn greater communication and conflict resolution skills and socialize with other couples. Re-discover the spark in your relationship by giving your relationship a “tune-up” in a peaceful, attractive setting.

Your relationship skills and your couple goals will improve and you will have fun while you grow through games, interactive exercises, and group healthy relationship skill workshops. Cost of this all-day couple retreat is only $108 per couple which includes a delicious, nutritious lunch and snacks. Register with $35 deposit. Save!!! Pay full amount before July 15, 2008 and save $20—only $88 per couple!

Comments from couples who have attended DZFI retreats before:

“I’ll take home some happy feelings, maybe we will see the other couples again–it would be very nice.”;

“I’m looking forward to your next retreat–this was a Saturday well spent!”;

“We will never forget those couple exercises, we will never forget. They show why teamwork is the way to go.”

“The ‘Relationship Game ‘ was fun! I found out something so surprising about my husband”

“We didn’t have to air our dirty laundry”

“You all kept it on the positive….enjoyed the energy! This retreat was excellent, couples bonded and were strengthened.”

“Retreats like this are about prevention–more people need to know about them!”

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