This past weekend, we were invited to Columbus, OH to present a talk on Women who are Spiritual leaders and the role of spiritually conscious women in upgrading society.
While in Columbus, the two Co-directors, Tariq and Krsnanandini had two sessions with couples where we provided marriage education. One couple is receiving premarital classes and the other couple has been married for about seven years. Our work with these two couples underscores the urgent need for marriage education. How tired are you of seeing or hearing about marriage break-ups? How disappointed and hurt are the thousands of children who see their parents fight and divorce? What about the millions of children who are growing up in single parent homes without the benefit of a very important and necessary parent (the absent one)?
Somewhere, somebody has to feel a responsibility to do something. And, thank God, a new consciousness is gradually emerging in our world. That we’d better take another look at the benefits of marriage. That some of the spiritual principles we as a community have been negligent about, are probably much more important than we have acknowledged. The Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute is an agency that has been in existence for well over a decade. Often, we felt that we were fighting an uphill battle, yet we are committed. Sometimes, we receive cards, letters and gifts of gratitude: “What can we possibly give you to repay you for how you have saved our marriage?”, one couple said. “I wish I’d had your services in my first marriage,” a lady client told us recently.
It’s been said before and you will no doubt hear it again: “children are best raised in a two parent household with a healthy mother and father cooperating together.” And, there are principles on which a healthy family must be based. For example, truthfulness, cleanliness, compassion and self-discipline. And, it takes a community to support a marriage. And having a deep and abiding respect for all living things promotes an atmosphere of peace and security.
“What,” you may ask, “can I do? I’m not married or I’m married but I don’t really have a marriage to sing about myself.” First, become educated about marriage; take a workshop or a seminar about healthy relationship skills. Read some of the current literature about marriage such as The Case for Marriage by Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher. Give a couple you know who is married or about to be married a gift certificate to take marriage enrichment or premarital education sessions. Raise your boys to be good husbands and your daughters to be good wives. This doesn’t mean they won’t do anything else like doctors, lawyers, firefighters, nurses, police officers, car mechanics or engineers. But it does acknowledge the reality that most people will get married and most people want to get married. What you do as a parent can ensure that when your children do marry, that they will have realistic expectations and be healthy contributors to their union as well as be able to honor their marriage commitment.
Teach boys how to clean the kitchen, how to cook, to put away their clothes and respect women. Teach girls how to clean, cook, put away their clothes and respect themselves and others. Teach your children to share, to have quiet time sometimes and to contribute some of their money to the household (either from gifts, allowances, or work). Spend time teaching your children about financial matters—how to save, how to tithe, how to budget, how to write checks, what are interest rates, etc. Show them how to talk to and how to talk about the opposite sex by how you treat and talk about the opposite sex. Eat dinner with your family at least once a day so that they will grow to value the time spent at the “kitchen table university”. Mentor a child.
And pray. Pray that somehow or other, we will have healthy family and community life. And that we will realize what is most important in our lives before it’s too late.
