Consider the Honeybees; Dear Relationship Coach; Booklet of 8s, Sept., ‘09

Posted: September 15th, 2009

In today’s world, people all over the globe are experiencing tremendous stress and pressure from a variety of challenges in their relationships and in their economic, moral, spiritual, and environmental arenas. This rise in stresses has produced a concomitant rise in depression and mental illnesses. In this month’s newsletter, we examine the honeybees to see if we can learn some valuable lessons from them about how they work together to solve problems about housing, food, shelter, work and living together socially.

Consider the lifestyle, nature and characteristics of the honeybees. As very social insects, they move together like one finely tuned machine, creating a harmonious symphony of care for the entire group. Collectively, honeybees accomplish many, many tasks and contribute enormous good to human and other animal families by providing a unique foodstuff, honey, and by pollinating a large proportion of the plants and vegetables that nourish both humans and animals. The unique physical and behavioral characteristics of honeybees make it possible for them to survive as part of an interdependent colony or group.

  • Honeybees are amazing insects capable of gathering flower nectar to produce honey. In a process called pollination, they transfer pollen from the male part of a plant to the female part in about 80% of the world’s vegetation, making it possible for us to have a continuous variety of fruits and vegetables. (This phenomenon shows Social Responsibility)
  • Honeybees construct marvelously designed cells in their hives that are both strong and efficient. (Here we see how they are Ecological and environmental assets).
  • The cells of a beehive are hexagonal (six-sided), a design that makes efficient use of space and wax. (This shows how Nature designed them to make the most of their talents and gifts)
  • In a beehive, there is a clear and orderly division of labor such that three different types of bees perform all of the jobs within a hive: queen, drones and workers. (Their interactions demonstrate Cooperation and interdependence)
  • A worker honeybee’s body is designed to perform many different tasks. (He utilizes Flexibility to get the job done)
  • Honeybees have a well-developed form of communication that contributes to the hive’s success. (Effective communication skills).
  • If a honeybee is ill or unable to perform tasks, she voluntarily leaves the hive so as not to disrupt the flow and to avoid passing the illness to others. (Sounds like sacrifice is important).

Honeybees cooperate to get their jobs done and their success means that the entire honeybee community thrives. They have a strong work and team ethic which enables them to do so much more than individual effort. No role is minimized and each bee’s performance is crucial to the success of the entire community.

The consequence of such well-balanced interactions of honeybees in their communities, is that both humans and animals have a continual supply of foods because the honeybees pollinate so many plants, thus enabling the plants to reproduce and maintain their ongoing diversity. This is social responsibility par excellence—the unconscious acceptance of a major role to benefit other living beings.

By nature, honeybees are designed to offer value to others outside of their own community. Not only honeybees, but It seems that when living beings accept their natural diets and behaviors in harmony with nature, there is a benefit to others. Similarly, this is true for human society, although many humans are neglecting so many of their natural functions. Honeybees place community development as fundamental and willingly sacrifice individual needs for that of the community. We can learn from them. Their excellent communication skills foster efficient and wholesome social and occupational interactions. Aw, if only we were more like the honeybees! We would cooperate, communicate and value each person, simultaneously caring for the needs of everyone.

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Dear Marriage Coach,

My son is dating a young lady at the university he attends. They are both in their senior year of school. They have been going together for about two years and are asking some tough questions about whether they should continue their relationship, live together or think about marriage. People tell them they are too young for marriage.  What advice would you offer?

Dear Wants Advice,

There comes a time when we must acknowledge that somehow current social trends  are not working. So many young people we are consulting with are wrestling with cohabitation versus marriage.

Here is what  many contemporary social scientists and Washington Post writer, Mark Regnerus, have to say about this topic (and he says it so well):  “The age at which a person marries never actually causes a divorce. Rather, a young age at marriage can be an indicator of an underlying immaturity and impatience with marital challenges — the kind that many of us eventually figure out how to avoid or to solve without parting.”

“Marriage actually works best as a formative institution, not an institution you enter once you think you’re fully formed. We learn marriage, just as we learn language, and to the teachable, some lessons just come easier earlier in life”. And yet today, as ever, marriage wisely entered into remains good for the economy and the community, good for one’s personal well-being, good for wealth creation and,yes, good for the environment, too. We are sending mixed messages.”

Today, there’s an even more compelling argument against delayed marriage: the economic benefits of pooling resources.”

Mr. Regnerus concludes by saying, “Married people earn more, save more and build more wealth compared with people who are single or cohabiting. (Say what you will about the benefits of cohabitation, it’s a categorically less stable arrangement, far more prone to division than marriage.) We can combine incomes while reducing expenses such as food, child care, electricity, gas and water usage. Marriage may be bourgeois, but it’s also the greenest of all social structures. Michigan State ecologists estimate that the extra households created by divorce cost the nation 73 billion kilowatt hours of electricity and more than 600 billion gallons of water in a year. That’s a mighty big carbon footprint created in the name of solitude. Marriage may not make you rich — that’s not its purpose — but a biblical proverb reveals this nifty side effect: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.”

Have your son and his friend read the above, then consider carefully. When  and if they choose to marry, encourage them to get premarital relationship skills training.

With warm regards,
Your Relationship Coach,

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Booklet of 8s

“My mother has never been a religious person,” said Wes, a pleasant, articulate young man we met recently at a local Health Center. “In fact, she avoided anything spiritual. But when she read your Booklet of 8s, she told me that this little book changed her life.” The young man proceeded to purchase two more Booklet of 8s (a concise guide to spiritual or principled living). The book contains spiritual gems in seed form to inspire and motivate you on your upward life journey. Order your copy today by clicking on this link:  Booklet of 8s
































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