Dasi-Ziyad Family Institute

This month, we invite you to consider ways to enhance your relationships by using the 7 universal principles highlighted in the yearly Kwanzaa celebration. Kwanzaa is a non-religious holiday celebrated for 7 days after Christmas. Each day, participants engage in activities that honor a healthy principle in order to promote individual, family and community growth. These principles are very appropriate for healthy marriages, healthy friendships and healthy interactions in general.

The 7 principles are:
* Unity * Self-determination
* Collective Work & Responsibility * Cooperative Economics
* Purpose * Creativity
* Faith

Here is how we can use these principles (The Swahili word is in parenthesis).

1. Unity (Umoja): In a relationship, there are at least two different opinions, backgrounds, perspectives, and reactions. Cooperating, working together to achieve common goals and objectives is a fundamental principle on which healthy relationships are built. Unity is not accidental. It is a deliberate, conscious and focused action in which each spouse or partner sees her/him self as a TEAM player. It sometimes requires sacrifice but the result of acting in the principle of Unity produces powerful results for emotional, spiritual and physical growth. An example: a couple meets weekly or biweekly to plan financial expenditures, savings, investments, debt reduction/elimination and goals, dedicating a special time for such meetings.

2. Self-determination (Kujichagulia): As a couple, YOU get to define your relationship. You get to choose the principles on which you want to build your family. You can identify your couple or family mission. And, you really should clarify what that mission is — together. Why have you come together? What do you stand for?

As an individual, you get to choose the values and principles that define who you are and once you are clear, you can attract a mate or friends with similar values and principles.

3. Collective Work and Responsibility (Ujima): To prosper, to thrive, a husband and wife both work. Whether inside or outside the home at a job or working on the growth and development of the relationship or your own self, your work is dependent upon the choices and unique needs of each couple/family. Together everyone accomplishes more (acronym: TEAM) is demonstrated when each member of the family has some responsible role in the maintenance of house and home. Children do their part as well. They have specific chores or duties to help the household run efficiently and to learn character building qualities.

4. Cooperative Economics (Ujamaa): I am/We are committed to pool resources, save, spend wisely and support with my (our) money and/or our time, the businesses, charities and services that add quality to the community (society, country) in which I/we live.

5. Purpose (Nia): Because we work together in unity, we have identified our purpose. We understand or are in the process of understanding, what our purpose is, as an individual, a couple or as a family.

6. Creativity (Kuumba): We utilize our God-given talents to beautify our communities, our family and ourselves. As a couple, we engage in cultural and artistic endeavors to enrich our lives and the lives of others. Because we work in unity, we are able to come up with creative, innovative ways to meet our needs and serve our families and communities.

7. Faith (Imani): Our faith in a Divine, Benevolent Source, our faith in our commitment to our family and community, our faith in each other is the foundation of a strong, healthy and supportive environment. As a couple, family or individual we demonstrate this faith by what we think, say and do. This causes us to think not so much about what we don’t have and can’t do, but what we can do with what we do have. Our faith attracts unexpected help and gives us inner strength. Faith is developed by associating with principled, caring, positive people.

We are encouraging you to use all of these principles in all of your relationships this month. And at the end of the month, please write us and let us know how you and your relationships were affected by your efforts.